| The Perils of Life As A Royal Stepmother |
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| Written by Dr. Janice Seto | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Saturday, 29 April 2006 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Observing how newly elevated women such as Camilla grapple with their new royal roles and the combined expectations, household retinue and the Press, it's heartening to know they have their husband's support. In recent times we have seen several examples of just how important is the role of the Princely spouse: single mom Mette Marit and Crown Prince Haakon in Norway; Letizia Ortiz leaving journalism for Prince Felipe of Spain. Then there is Australian-born Mary Donaldson who travelled across the world for the love of Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, and Maxima — the Latina Argentina — and Crown Prince Willem Alexander. You know each of these Princes are proud to show their consorts the ropes. And from their solicitous attention, the people take their cue. As Barry Manilow would echo: "Looks like we made it." In contrast, marrying a 'Daddy Prince' has got to be the toughest way to gain royal status. It is hard enough for a commoner single woman to take on a dad and kids — can any of us truly appreciate what it is like when the man you love comes with the added baggage of the Press, an established household and even the bloggers, all of which play an important role in their daily life? The people are particularly proprietorial when it comes to 'The Royal Children'. This new spouse could actually become the royal child's guardian in case of death, or — if tragedy strikes — even Regent of a minor heir. If the first wife was popular with the people the hurdles are even tougher. (Who wanted to follow Princess Grace in Monaco?).  Experts in blended families say first marriages have their hard work at the beginning — marriage to a Dad means the hard work begins at "I do" and never ends.Stepchildren, especially stepdaughters, can cause a fuss. Princess Ingrid of Sweden was barely ten years of age when her mother, Crown Princess Margareta (born H.R.H Princess Margaret of Connaught) died in her sixth pregnancy. When Ingrid's father (latterly King Gustav VI Adolph of Sweden) remarried Lady Louise Mountbatten (formerly H.S.H Princess Louise of Battenberg), the young Princess had photos of her artistic, gardening mother posted all over the walls to reinforce her opposition to her new stepmother. In later life, as Queen of Denmark, Ingrid reminded her children that their grandmother was not Queen Louise, but Margareta. It's probably no coincidence that Ingrid's eldest daughter, the present Queen of Denmark, was named Margarethe, in honour of her grandmother. Similar measures to protect a mother who was displaced surrounded the psychological intent behind Mary Tudor's treatment of Queen Anne Boleyn. Perhaps the same could be said for today's rather distant, but cordial, relationship between Camilla and Diana's boys, Princes William and Harry. So why is the role of Royal stepmother so beset with controversy and problems? Call her H.R.H. The Duchess of Cornwall, or call her Queen...whatever happens, you cannot call Camilla comfortable. She can never be that. There is simply too much water under the bridge. Yes, you can credit Camilla for the now genuine smile on Charles's face, but then no one marries in middle age so as to become miserable. In keeping happy the man who has sacrificed so much for her (not least his popularity and standing with the public), Camilla is just doing her job. If Camilla became a royal as the 'Culpable Stepmother', then Mary-Lilian Baels could be the ultimate Stepmother 'Victim of Circumstance'.  In December 1941, the Belgian people had no notice that their widowed King, Leopold III — a de facto prisoner of the Nazis — was even dating when his second marriage was announced in the Catholic churches inside the realm.Lilian Baels was an exotic beauty who was as 'deep as a Greek night', a golf partner of the King and utterly stunning in jewels and gowns. But who was this new consort whose much loved wife, Astrid, died tragically young when her husband crashed their car into a tree during a holiday at their villa in Switzerland. This second marriage was a turning point in Leopold’s reign. From then on, his marriage was the lightening rod for dissent which ultimately led to his abdication in 1950. In retrospect, the marriage was ill-timed, perhaps illegal, and certainly politically sensitive. A furtive secret wedding?! What a contrast to the jubilation of his first. In doing right by the striking and beautiful Lilian — the king’s "diversion" — Leopold and his advisors decided to marry religiously and do the civil ceremony later. (The birth of their son Prince Alexandre in 1942 provoked speculation Lilian had deliberately fallen pregnant to force the king into marriage). Unfortunately, this contravened Belgian law which states that the civil ceremony comes first. This law reaffirms the supremacy of the state. Citizens who flouted this in the past found themselves imprisoned. It struck some as unseemly that the King would remarry while Belgian prisoners of war suffered under the Nazi regime. Compounding the controversy further, the monarch then chose to honeymoon in Hitler's Germany. In addition, the king's choice of a Flemish woman in the ethnically-divided Belgium was taken badly by the French-speaking Walloons. Unlike today’s crown Princesse Mathilde, Lilian was not a product of the aristocracy — her family was seen as parvenu arrivistes looking for a faster route up the social ladder. For almost three years, until 1940, Lilian had been engaged to a Hungarian count but was refused permission by his Parliament because of her unaristocratic roots, and the Baels — who made their money in the fish trade — were seen as opportunists. During WWI Lilian's father, Henri Baels, moved his family to London where Lilian was born in 1916. In light of the Nazi invasion of Belgium, word had it that Henri left his post of governor of West Flanders for Biarritz ahead of the formal order to evacuate. Perhaps astutely aware that forcing this fait accompli upon the people would have consequences, Leopold — in the same way as the Prince of Wales today — stated that Lilian would not take the title of Queen. Instead she would become HRH the Princess de Rethy and any future children would not enjoy succession rights. Some people were hardly appeased, pointing out that Rethy had been a title his late wife, the warm and lovely Queen Astrid, had occasionally used in traveling incognito. Unlike Camilla, Lilian took on three stepchildren who were approaching their teen years with alacrity. Whatever they say about her family, her background, her influence politically, no one has found evidence that Lilian was a wicked stepmother. Leopold and Astrid's daughter, Princess Josephine-Charlotte, even asked Lilian for permission to call her "mother". Her request enraged some in the same way many shuddered watching Second Lieutenant Harry Wales kiss Camilla folling his passing out parade at Sandhurst in April 2006. By stepping into the shoes of Astrid — who died so young, so vibrant, so fresh, so highborn, so maternal — the worldly and cosmopolitan Lilian reminded people of their loss. She was everything Astrid was not...she was alive.  Lilian supervised the children during the war and the five years which followed, in Switzerland, while negotiations between the Belgian government, the King’s brother (Prince Charles), the regent, and Leopold III examined the king’s conduct in WWII.There seemed genuine affection between stepmother and royal brood, but relations gradually changed after their return in 1950 and his subsequent abdication. Perhaps the influence of the royal courtiers was responsible for the cooling of relations between Astrid’s now adult children and Lilian. Following his abdication in favour of the young Baudoin I, Leopold, Lilian and family continued to live in the Royal palace. Despite keeping a low profile, and later sponsoring a foundation into pediatric cardic care for Belgians after her own son underwent a heart operation in Boston, Lilian was accused of undue influence on the vulnerable and shy new king. Given the sensitivity over precedent and seating at Princess Josephine Charlotte's wedding to the hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg — was Lilian the first lady of the land or was it the dowager Queen Elisabeth? — and how to minimize booing from the crowds, is it any wonder that Britain's new King George VI preferred his brother, the former King Edward VIII (Duke of Windsor) to live abroad following his abdication in December 1936? It was only after Baudoin's marriage to the formidable Dona Fabiola de Mora y Aragon did Leopold and Lilian move out of the Royal palace, taking some furniture with them during the young king’s honeymoon. Perhaps unsurprisingly, a freezing wind soon blew between these two royal households. Did Lilian miss royal life? Once established at Chateau D’Argenteuil, Lilian and Leopold traveled extensively, he on scientific explorations, she enjoying regular games of golf, in which she even bested the exiled Duke of Windsor. Lilian was a regular visitor to Parisian couturiers, and even had expertise with fast cars, owning three Ferraris, including the famous model she commissioned in 1967. On the other side of the freeze-up, Josephine-Charlotte led the way with shades of Ingrid of Sweden — her first daughter was named Princess Marie-Astrid of Luxembourg, in honour of her late grandmother. Albert's first daughter was christened Princess Astrid. As for the childless Baudoin, he died of heart failure at his Spanish home, the Villa Astrida, in 1993. The feelings between the royal in-laws seemed reciprocated: Lilian did not attend Baudoin's funeral, although it did result in a very rare sight: the presence of Queen Elizabeth II, who usually only attends the funerals of members of her immediate family or those of significant figures of State, such as former British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill. Lilian's story concludes much like another second wife, Mary of Modena, the consort of James II. Although a mother of three, Lilian had no royal grandchildren. Her only son, Prince Alexandre, sired no children from his wife, the elegant divorcee Lea Wolman. Mirroring his own parents, Alexandre kept his marriage secret from his mother and siblings, in this case for around seven years. Lilian's daughter, the controversial Princess Marie Christine, ran away to briefly marry a Toronto piano player, later a restaurateur. The rebel Princess later gave tell-all interviews and wrote a biography accusing Leopold of neglect and Lilian of being domineering. Princess Marie Esmeralda, who had been associated with Sarah, Duchess of York and her 'financial advisor', John Bryan, lives in London with her professor husband and two children. Other traces of Lilian are fading, including the royal couple's home, Chateau D'Argenteuil. Her children believed the house would be preserved as a museum. However, with no public funding and little interest generated, the chateau has now been sold. Lilian's spectacular collection of jewels, clothes, fine furniture, and the Ferrari and many beautiful Belgian royal heritage pieces left to her by Leopold, were sold at Sotheby's auction house in 2003. (I have a copy of the auction catalogue, a breathtaking collection indeed!). Princess Lilian died at the age of 85 on June 7th 2002 and was buried with Leopold and the woman in whose shoes she followed, Queen Astrid, in the royal crypt, her three children sitting separately from Astrid's descendants throughout the funeral service. Seeing just how much King Leopold gave up for the woman to whom he would be married for forty years, Lilian must have been one 'hell of a woman'! If you enjoyed this article, don't miss Janice's piece about King Leopold's first wife, Queen Astrid Comment on this article
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